Lost, while you have a wonderful T and a great relationship with him (and pdoc), for the moment this isn't working to keep you afloat. It doesn't mean that you or him have done anything wrong, aren't a good match, etc. A different approach for a brief amount of time could provide just what you and your treatment team need. The inpatient program could give you, T, and postdoc with some new ideas. I hope that you'll consider this--you've been hurting a lot for some time. I know that it's scary, but without a leap of faith, no change can happen. Please ask yourself whether stability is really what you want.