I'm not sure if I'm reading this wrong as it seems to be different from how everyone else heard it. And maybe because t and I have has a similar discussion. As in, I have a tendency to not be able to disagree or say someone is wrong and I never sound very firm I my resolve. So I had to say no where she argued (my) yes.

Could your t have been paying devils advocate? As in she didn't actually want to show you that you were being too hard on them, busy wanted you to great what that aside -the side that you usually take- sounds like. Maybe by disagreeing with you she was hoping to draw out the anger.

I'm not sure, I also don't do anger so its kind of unknown territory to me.