You're right and thanks for your quick response. When you mean "stop this relationship" do you mean the friendship? Because now it seems like that's going to be less of a problem. I think I'm slowly returning to the person I was before I met her. We haven't spoken since we worked together Thursday of last week. We remained civil and I shook her hand at the end of my shift as a friendly gesture. I know she’ll call sometime, the hardest part will be not letting myself get involved, again.

I guess I'm torn between doing what I know is right for me, and maintaining a friendship with someone who might not yet know any other kind of emotional expression. If everyone who’s ever said they love her has turned and hurt her, I think it’s expected that she’d be unable to express emotions other than what I’ve written. She does have a very tender and loving side, which is probably what kept me close for so long. But those moments are few and far between.

Maybe I should clear this up by saying that we never had sexual relations. Lord knows it was on her mind, mine too. We respected each other and didn’t succumb to that, which is why I think she had relations with her ex. She wasn’t ready for a commitment, but wanted the benefits of a commitment that I wasn’t willing to give up freely and without more time. It’s very complicated. Either way, I made a promise that I would always remain her friend. It’s not a vow, and all which that entails, but it’s a promise none the less that I intended to keep as long as I am able.

I know I’m not a therapist and I have recommended she should see a professional. I believe she will be by the end of the month. But for the greater part, she’s refused professional treatment in favour of close friends. That’s where I come in because although my emotions were strong, I always did my best to give her advice in the best interests of her, even if it meant finding happiness elsewhere.

She’s relapsed over the past week. She'd been clean for over 200 days, and this has gotten me worried. The only way I can offer her support is if I remain by her side, even if it means getting jumped on once and a while.

I know enough to keep other people I care about away from her. I told a friend, who’s since started working with her, that if she begins divulging personal information about herself, that he should run like she’s holding a live grenade. I ended my warning with “I stayed and watched the grenade go off, and I’ve been picking up the pieces ever since”. We both had a laugh, but I think he got the idea.