Thanks Raps..thanks Zen..makes me feel good knowing there are people who understand.. my best friend seems to understand but she is so far away.. its just hard sometimes..My hubby has no clue about this..he knows about my past but I try to leave my past in the past so to speak...because my greatest fear is to bring my past to the present..so I dont really want him to know about this unless I feel that it really is getting to the point of no control..Up until about two months ago I worked out about four times a week..Lately I have just been so freaking busy with work and school and personal stuff..maybe I am just stressed..I dunno..anyways thanks you two..I am gonna work extra hard on getting my butt back out there and making new friends..I can't stand being at home all the time just as much as I cant stand whats happening to me..soooo wish me luck!