Thanks again to all! This might sound strange, but I do believe I have forgiven both my father and grandfather. The anger I am now releasing is about getting rid of the fear/shame/anger that has been trapped in my body for so long. The physical act of hitting pillows and yelling is helpful because I was not able to fight back or use my voice as a child. I guess I am giving a voice to that small child so those frozen parts of her can "thaw" and heal...I am thankful for all of your replies!