Hi
Know those feelings all to well
This is my advice and what I've found
DID's symptoms are subjective to the individual experiencing it
In other words this an example my husband helped me with
For example
The house that burnt down
A Fire fighter will do a controlled burn due to what he learnt
A forensic person would do it another way and use the firefighter as back up so to minimise danger
A pyro will just burn it down and be reckless
Another would be "**** happens" the house burnt down due to a unstubbed cigarette or a gas leak
End result is that the house burns down regardless of the method used.

What you learn from this experience that the end result IS the same BUT the methods used are variables.

So is DID.

No one taught you to have DID, for the most part you have functioned in life and not realised it was there until another experience was the "straw that broke the camels back" that made you go see a therapist

How you came to have it and how your brain stored it will be different from one person to the next that have DID as well. Thereby how you experience your symptoms will be different from others it does not mean that how you feel is "wrong" or a "fabrication". Knowing this also upsets me because I'm very structured in how I approach all of life's problems and that it must be this way or that and then I get angry, then I 'm in denial again and again and again and then I realise this is the DID process trying to protect myself. And you breakthrough it like a deep sea diver coming up for air. If you look at my post chronologically you can see this process in action from being diagnosed only 1 week ago until now.

DID is ingrained in me and I have been this way for god knows how long and I've resigned myself to the concept that it's not that bad because this process has helped me be who I am today.

I don't have co-consciousness

I was'nt even aware that I did this stuff until I was told by my T, and how he figured it out I have no idea because I am a smart person. All I know is my obsession paid off because I channeled it to read as much as I could and talk in this forum and others to come to terms with it.

Some will not understand what you mean. Others will.

Converse with all of us on the forum and you will see this because for me DID has helped me stay in denial for so long so I could handle life stressors and just because I am this way doesn't make me any less worthy in todays society.

The brain is an amazing piece of organic equipment scientists have been trying to figure out the secrets of the brain for centuries and have come to realise that they've really only discovered maybe 10-15% of what it actually does.

I look forward to seeing your posts DID is not black and white my friend that is why I use the YIN and YANG symbol as my profile picture

Kind regards
Lou