So from an early age I suffered with depression and tried to take my own life when I was a child, my upbringing wasn't the worst but there was some angry and voilent times and a lot I don't remember as I blocked it out and do not wish to revisit. When I tried to do that at an early age my mom didn't give me a hug or any sympathy she just said you don't know what depression is though I remember saving her life by calling someone to say there was something wrong with her when she overdosed because she thought my dad was cheating on her. I 'm the oldest of five and have been expected to be the strong one. I have since had depression a couple of times and severe depression once when I couldn't even function properly. I decided after that last time when I had severe depression that I would not let myself go through that again and that I would be strong no matter what. I lasted about 4 years and now I'm starting to feel that way again. My two brother's and one sister all still live at my parents and get spoiled though they smoke drugs which I don't and do not work which I do though I am a single mom. I do not get any sympathy for feeling down, my mom's favourite sayings being I've had it worse or there are people worse off. I have done so well for so long but recently with trying to cope as a single mom, keep up with a challenging job as a secretary to a boss who isn't the nicest and housework etc on top of my ex - daughter's father using me for sex and me allowing it, thinking something more would come of it (and yes he made me believe this) I'm starting to feel the pressure build up, I'm drinking more, don't want to spend time with my daughter, don't want to socialise. My life is crap, it has never been easy but I'm trying so hard, I just don't think I can keep it up much longer, everyone around me is so selfish I don't bother complaining too much because they can't comprehend how another person's life is harder than their's and that includes my friends yet I am completely different, if someone is upset or needs me I am there for them without thinking about myself. Can anyone give any foresight into how I can go on please?