hmm. i've always felt like friendships turn into these huge BURDENS - people always WANT something from you and it's just EXHAUSTING. but as my r/s with T improves - as I get less afraid of being straight with him and just saying what i'm feeling - i'm feeling less afraid of other r/s's. feeling like I WILL be able to get up and walk away, I won't get stuck somewhere bad forever so my only recourse is to be alone. I know my parents viewed me as a burden, that there was something wrong with me (and they were just waiting for me to get married), so that's how I see others, but T sees me as a delight - or at least he acts like he does! so now I don't feel so much like the other person has stacked the deck against me, aces up his sleeve, so I can never win. the playing field IS leveled. so - interesting post - why are our current r/s unsatisfying, can we fix them or do we need new ones? or couples counseling?