I'm not a huge fan of summertime. Without a car, I am stuck in my house for the majority of the time. I've agreed to be the official babysitter of my new 3 month old baby brother. I get $100 a week, but I'm not sure it's worth it. Every day I feel like I should be doing things. I'm babysitting and maintaining the house, but it's never enough. It's like I can't just relax without feeling crappy.

Some days, I just can't stop doing things. I have to create things or do some sort of project. Sometimes writing in my journal or a blog is helpful, but when that's done I need to do more. On days like this I want to go to the store, but not for anything in particular. I just want to buy things. I need to be saving my money for a car, but that's so difficult on days like this. Also, days like these are the ones that never end. I just don't want to sleep! If I try, I can't get to sleep, but at the same time I really just don't want to. I want to do things! Sleep just feels like a waste of time! When my parents come home or I hang out with my man-friend, I talk their heads off at a million miles a minute! But I'm also kind of on edge, jumpy, and get annoyed really easily. But on the bright side, I'm excited about things, I'm creative, and I feel pretty good about myself! On days like this, I feel most like myself!

However, this is not always the case.

Some days I feel just blah. I don't want to anything at all but sleep, eat, and lay around. I don't want to be around people. I'll turn the TV on, but I really have no interest in watching it. I'll barely even turn the channel. If I try to make myself do something creative, I get a big mental block. There is a huge fog in my brain. I get really sad and have even gotten so low that I've hurt myself, but I've given that up. I'll barely talk to people, because I don't have much to say. And Sometimes I'll have crying spells. It's like I'm infected with some kind of grey cloud disease.

But sometimes, neither of these are the case!

Sometimes I don't know how I feel! I go back and forth or feel both at the same time! It's frustrating and confusing to be like that!

Maybe this is all part of having ADHD. Maybe this is just me? Who knows! Oh Well! This is how I feel about my many odd feelings.