I am just reading this now and i am in a similiar situation, a gay female who declared her love for her T, who I will be seeing this week after ,my amorous email lol...not looking forward to it but It seems like your T has an issue with being gay that she was so defensive about it almost-"I am not Gay"- like you said it doesn't matter if she was, she didn't need to point it out, you were simply telling her you liked her not that you wanted to marry her, it sounds as though she totally overreacted