I went to the Nuerologist today to talk about my progress. My blood pressure is sky high. I normally have low pressure, but not today.

Last week, I woke up to a muffled engine sound in my good ear. The Dr. told me that it's from where I was hit so hard in January. It's been six months! What else is going to happen to me because of what happened in January?

I told the Dr. it just couldn't be but he said it's quite common. He said that in time the sound may recede some and that I'll get used to hearing it. The noise is in my good ear. He hit me so hard he killed nerve cells in my right ear and I have permanent hearing loss in it. Now I have buzzing in my left! AAARGH!!!!!!!!!

He told me I'm doing much better but he had told me that I'll be recovered as much as possible by January - one year. Now he's moved it to two years. I don't know why. I was shaking so hard inside I just couldn't ask him.

I want so badly to go look at the person who hit me and look in his eyes and ask why. I want to ask him why he hurt me. Why did he treat the one person in the world who has only been a kind and loving friend like dirt. Why did he try to destroy me? Why??? I don't understand.

My temper came out today and it made me even more upset. He hit me in the part of the brain that governs emotions. He said my temper was effected. I can't afford to have a temper. I have to think rationally and act rationally. I can't let him steal that from me, too.

Miserably,

Jan