I remember that feeling from when I was a teenager and was doing things I wish I wouldn't and did not understand why. It could be you are unconsciously breaking dishes as you have no other way to combat your stepfather's unreasonable control of you and ordering you around, etc. See if you can stop blaming yourself and think of some way to "enjoy" doing the dishes; when you are older, you will have to do your own dishes/clean up after yourself and family and this is a start/good practice? If you "go along" with things instead of wishing for other things and sort of fighting, it is easier to feel better more of the time and look forward to when you can decide what you would like to do yourself, all the time (which does not really happen; we all have to work, do chores, etc. to support ourselves). Decide you want to help with the dishes and get into doing them as well as you can might help with the breakage.