Quote:
Originally Posted by sidestepper
Have you thought about thinking about seeing the world from others point of view?? Your mom? She works, she is under a lot of pressure, an adult sick child lives with her, and she and her boyfriend get into a fight, and yell at each other which causes more stress, and then her daughter is angry and tense which makes mom feel even worse.
There are many of us with PTSD and even DID, but that does not give us the right to control the behavior of those around us. It is up to us to learn to deal with the world. You have a pretty good deal going. With no income you have a safe place to live, food to eat, people who love you, and friends. If you start trying to control their behavior and tell them they have to treat you like a victim instead of like you-a person. You will start losing the people you need to heal and get better. I once had a room-mate like that. She started doing that to her family. So they paid for her rent, 1-3rd of a house. She had divided the place into threes. The frig, was taped off, as was the bathroom, and kitchen. I lasted longer than anyone because I didn't do what she demanded. In the end, even I left, she attacked my daughter when I did not react as I was supposed to). Her poor parents moved her to a one- bedroom that was part of a facility for severely mentally ill people. She went into her own delusions, there was nobody there to tell her other wise. She ended up in a state hospital. In the beginning her only diagnosis was PTSD but she demanded every one treat her as poor little me. I can handle life. "life is hard, do ***** and moan but you have to learn to deal with it" That is what T's and Pdoc's are for. You can't expect life to stop happening around you. (((Towanda's))) idea is a great one getting ear plugs, thats being pro-active, taking charge of life. Using music, You need to stop thinking of what they are doing to you and start thinking about helping yourself. How can Hellion take care of Hellion! Go for a walk, get absorbed in a book and not hear them, learn meditation(it really does block out the unwanted) Go to your T and Pdoc and talk about this, how to deal with life while dealing with the trauma. I'm the last one who will ever say that it is easy. But please don't see yourself as a victim. You are not a victim--you are a surviver! 
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Ummm ok, I can see what you are saying but I feel like you made a lot of kind of inaccurate assumptions about my situation. First of all where did you get that I am trying to control anyone?......I waited till about 4 in the morning before I finally came out and yelled at them to quiet down before that I was just trying to listen to music and not pay attention to it but it started making me really tense. In my OP I talked about leaving when they do that........how is that anything like trying to control their behavior?
I do my best to deal with the world you know, but I am not perfect and I cannot be in 100% control of my symptoms.....so as much as I do have to lean to deal with somethings and cope with them I also have to be aware of my limitations and be careful not to over-stress myself too much..and listening to my mom and her boyfriend argue and not even being able to sleep an entire night and missing an appointment because of it, is over stress and as much as my mom might feel bad I still have to consider I need sleep and peace not sleep deprivation and a house full of tension and resentment.
Also I don't exactly have a working off switch in my brain...so unless I leave and am able to find something better to think about I cannot just not think about it when it's right in my face. I mean one big issue with PTSD is not being able to get stuff out of your head at will well and its always been an issue with me even before due to anxiety.
And I see myself as a victim of the things I have been a victim of....I don't really see myself as a survivior I mean great I am still alive after everything in life but I feel kinda dead inside and have to live with this PTSD for the rest of my life so......yeah I guess I don't exactly feel like some rugged, survivor. But even so it is my life so it is my job to try and figure out what to do about the situation at hand. I figure I'll move out as soon as I find any way to do so, and if it gets too bad well I have a back pack and the streets open I am sure.
Also my family is rather dysfunctional so lets just say they aren't exactly the ones to help me in my healing anyways.......if any healing does take place. But yeah I know life happens, but it doesn't do much good to just adjust to a negative situation I feel it is better to try and get out of the negative situation not just cope with it or fail at coping with it. If a therapist or doctor told me I should just learn to live with the constant tension I would tell them 'no, I already did that for my entire childhood and I am done submitting to negative situations I cannot change and would prefer to leave.'