Quote:
Originally Posted by kazine
Right, I just want to share my story to find out if there are people who have DID like I do. Sometimes I get into denial about it because it's so different from the 'norm'.
Whereas most people have DID where they lose time and hear voices, mine is different. I don't really lose time. When I switch I am fully conscious. It's like, when I switch, I feel the change, but rather than sitting in the background, I sort of change into my alter. I can go from being me, to being someone else entirely, I can even change gender in my mind when I switch to a male. When I switch from me to Aaron, I suddenly feel like a male trapped in a female body, I apparently walk different, talk different etc, but I still have the consciousness as if I am him instead of me. Also my sexual desires change when I switch into Sophie, she has a very strong rape fetish that I don't have, but when I switch to her, I feel all she feels, my voice goes higher too. I have only lost time twice, and I had been drinking both times, and I turned into a crazy abusive mess - the first time, it was my alter Laura, who took a pretty big overdose, luckily my boyfriend was there to make me throw the pills back up.
I knew I was losing time however rather than it just being an alcohol blackout because about three times during the time loss, I kind of had a "flash" of what was going on... One flash I was sitting on the washing machine crying to my best friend, the second flash I was throwing a glass at my boyfriend and wondering why I was doing it, the third one I was throwing a bottle of Seroquel down my throat, and also wondered why I was doing it. The fact I was so confused during the "flashes" convinces me that it was time loss and not alcohol blackout - surely if it was an alcohol blackout I would have known what I was doing and why, right? Is time loss like this?
Is anyone like this? The fact I'm so different from most people with DID makes me question it, wonder whether I'm imagining it etc.
Thanks,
Kaz x
|
Ive always lost time...
Here in NY, USA its pretty standard for DID people to lose time, something to do with the diagnostic criteria that the person with DID must have a special kind of forgetfulness that goes beyond the normal standard of forgetfulness example having memory gaps about traumatic events, and other trauma related memories....
though some people have more co consciousness (being aware that their alters exist,being aware of hearing voices, being aware of thats going on when alters are in control....) then others, theres usually some sort of prevalent memory loss (some locations call it time loss, time gaps, memory gaps,.. what ever word your location uses) associated with DID.
total memory loss/time loss/memory gaps are not required but most if not all DID people do have memory loss/time loss/memory gaps/...