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Old Jul 21, 2012, 12:40 PM
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Perna Perna is offline
Pandita-in-training
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
Telling another how you feel, pbutton is always a gift to them! If they respond any differently, they are the ones who have a problem, not you.

Someone telling you how they feel about you, it can feel scary because, in my case, I am uncertain how to respond but good, or bad, we know where we stand with them, they have shared themselves with us and we have a bit of information to see how others are perceiving us (so, if they say specific things we perceive as problems, we can fix them). Those are all good things.

What I learned with T is that my saying "I am going to miss you" I can trust I will get a genuine response so I can learn to work with the scary stuff and/or learn that T can be trusted to be herself and tell me exactly what she feels, not "pretend". Lots of people do seem to pretend and learning to tell who is and who is not and what I'm feeling and how my responses interact with others, all that is why I love therapy.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
Thanks for this!
kiki86, pbutton