So he saw my belly on Skype. So the situation is pretty bad - now he wants me to lose weight. I told him that I already do not eat cakes etc. and it still does not work. I am very cross at him. I see his point - he has his own 5-7 extra kilos and that is due to age - when he was young, he could eat any amount of food and remain basically weightless, but not anymore (slowed metabolism), so he limits himself by suppressing the feeling of hunger. I do not want to suppress my feeling of hunger, I think it is a physiological feeling that tells me to eat. He thinks that had he not been suppressing his feeling of hunger, he would have weighed WAY MORE. Of course, there is no way to test it. He is not read up on obesity research (like - nill). I told him that he is lucky he is not taking Zyprexa (half of my extra weight was piled up quickly while on Zyprexa) he prescribes it. He told me that I should understand that Zyprexa itself has no calories. It is the appetite that Zyprexa boosts and the appetite can be curbed by will power. If you are hungry, find some interesting, consuming work to do. I explained that I have to have lunch at work, I cannot work otherwise. He told me that if he waits for 15 minutes, the pangs of hunger subside and do not come back for another two hours. He basically eats some yogurt in the morning and then has a full meal at night, with virtually nothing in-between. I inquired whether he knows it that bp people are advised not just to sleep regularly, but to eat regularly, and not just regularly but at the same time each day. He dodged his answer. I wrote to him so that he would know (he was not aware of it) that I had an ED when I was young, that it was induced by my dad and his friend's encouraging me to diet whereas I looked perfectly fine at that time and did not need it, that I am in remission, and that I want to remain in remission and have a good relationship with food for the second half of my life. I thought that after receiving such a letter he would shut up. I was wrong. He was otherwise very nice, and I am more amused than cross, but still, what ignorance and insensitivity. Should I bombard him with research? I doubt. He mentions that he eat good things such as olive oil, salmon, green salad, etc., and I said that I already do that, and it DOES NOT HELP. I summed up that I ALREADY eat all the good thing he can even think of and not eat all the so called empty calories and it DOES NOT HELP. Instead of saying something reassuring he said "Well then it is probably a matter of quantity". He is probably right - I do not always apply portion control, but it is usually on foods that are low calorie to begin with. Further, I told him (I just got my blood test results) that obviously everything that I am doing is already right because my cholesterol is BELOW the norm, blood pressure below the norm, fasting glucose at the very bottom of the normal range, what else can I do? He still talks about abstaining from eating as the only way to burn fat. I wrote to him that I saw that I am offending his esthetic sensibilities (he mentioned how good I used to look) and therefore made an appointment with my endocrinologist who will probably put me on Metformin, which will help me lose weight. Instead of appreciating me, which I think would be appropriate, and instead of telling me something along the lines of how good I am in whatever shape and form I am and that I should not worry, he said that he does not believe in medication. Incidentally, he does not know what metformin is. Metformin, I checked on Wiki, was invented like in the 1920s, so I cannot believe he is so ignorant. Of course, he is the doctor of the psyche, but still. Well maybe they are more specialized in Europe... I dunno. That is the whole story.

I described how my dad and his wife and friend caused my eating disorder (ED) - http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=237902

D. showed knowledge of ED. He mentioned purging, laxatives, diuretics, eating a fridgeful of stuff (bulimia), distorted perception of fatness or lack thereof (anorexia). I told him how I saw anorexics being fed through the nose when I was inpatient. So it is not that he is completely ignorant of ED, he somehow does not realize that he should not be triggering me.

I have my endocrinologist appointment on Aug 1. I am just gonna tell her everything. I will also tell her that I think I have hypoglycemia because if I miss a meal I start feeling lightheaded. I wonder what she will say about his theory of skipping lunch or eating (this is verbatim) "one leaf of salad plus a few berries plus a glass of juice". And then I will relate to him my endocrinologist's advice as the final word.

At this point I am not interested in sleeping with him anymore, but this might change.

Oh, he does not exercise - he just runs around a lot living in a European city without a car. So he tells me that he was someplace without an elevator and how he all of a sudden easily climbed 5 floors. I told him that my office is on the 3rd floor and when I am alone, I always take the stairs and also do so easily, while my thin Asian American co-workers take the elevator, and I envy their genetics. Again he did not respond with anything reassuring. Yikes.