T and I talked years ago in therapy about why we could never be friends. He said that if therapy ended, and we became friends, then I would be losing a therapist...I wouldn't have him to call when things came up and what I needed was a therapist to work through it with me. It made sense, and I also felt (a little desperately!) like "no way, it's okay! I'll find a different T"

T HAS told me that he thinks if we met in "real life" that we would be great friends. He knows I am not the darkness of my past. Your T knows that too, sawe.

Now that I have the experience of ending therapy, I am SO GRATEFUL that T has that boundary in place. Something came up in my life this week that was a pretty enormous deal - having to do with the health of one of my children - and I was able to call T for help in dealing with it. It made me feel so much safer knowing that he was out there, that I could reach out for help that was all about ME (because I was supporting everyone else and really needed support), that he will always, always be there for me as a therapist if I need him. I *could* find a new T, of course, but this one knows me inside and out, and being able to call in a time of crisis and knowing that he knows me and my son and my family situation and exactly what words would help was more helpful than I have words for.

I love my ex/part-time T SO very much and I would love to be friends with him. But I can't, and this is really good too.

I used to be sad about that boundary, but now I'm grateful for it.