I thought I would never do it again, but it happens just like that.

Last time I saw my doctor I told her that my relationship with my ex is improving, that I had him and our children who live with him for dinner on Sunday and hope to make it into a tradition, that I do not want more but I do not want less either.

Now looking back I see that from what I told her she could have made a reasonable conclusion that I keep firm boundaries with my ex and see him weekly in a nice atmosphere. I did not tell her that I bombard him with calls and emails compulsively against his will, so she had no way of knowing.

Likewise, I told her, in the interest of time, that I impulsively bought massage. I did not tell her (but I told you guys) that I also bought Excel classes and a body fat percentage test and unlike you guys she did not think that I was hypomanic (I later realized that I had skipped Lithium). So again I do not tell her everything and she has no way of knowing. She is a good doctor, but even she cannot always see through the crap. And I sound much more composed in the doctor's office than I am in my real life, which I realize has been a hell of a problem for me - I do not present correctly and fully. They do not see the complete clinical picture.

How do you strive to be fully honest?

I once saw a psychologist who gave me very high functioning score and a few weeks later I attempted suicide. The psychologist was immature crap, my current doctor is eons better, but even she got deceived by what I do.

OK, so we at least we have identified the problem.