I have struggled with depression and lied lied lied to my doctors for years regarding just how bad things were.. Many sucidal attempts some doctors where aware of a lot more they didn't know of , lots of risky behaviors, loads of job hoping and quitting great jobs just because I felt like it, lots of bad relationships.

I was diagnosed BP a little over a year ago after a trip to the psych ward for suicidal thoughts a hair away from actually doing it. I was so grateful to finally realize my actions and behaviors were in many ways due to chemical imbalance , not saying that I wasn't responsible for my actions but.. it sure did explain A LOT .

The hospital set up Appts with Pdoc and Tdoc and I am on the search for the right cocktail of meds. I realized that for me this was literally my last chance to get help and decided no matter how hard it would be ..I would be absolutly honest .. Has it been hard ? Oh holy hell YES ... I have started to answer a question with a sugar coated answer a few times and I just stop and start over, both my Pdoc and Tdoc appreciate my honesty as it helps them when deciding about treatments and options.

I guess my new motto is ...Why pay someone to help me if I'm not willing to be honest.. seems like a waste of my money