I can relate, Hamster. It's not that I lie-I just leave things out and downplay things slightly.

I have, however,made some recent efforts to be more honest. My T and pdoc know how suicidal I've been and they know about my hallucinations. My T (but not my pdoc) knows about the intense delusions I had at age 12 during my first depression.

I must say, I was impressed with their reactions .They didn't freak out. My pdoc simply upped my abilify. I was scared that honesty about suicidality would lead to hospitalization, but neither have even mentioned the hospital-even when I told my T that I had already written a note!

I plan to tell my pdoc about my psychotic experiences during my first depression at my next visit. I must admit, I am still scared. :O