Yes, I see how it might well be bpd. Ultimately the person whom I deceive is myself. I lose. If I told the doctor about Excel classes and body fat percentage testing AND massage, surely she would have pronounced me hypo. Then (possibly - possibly!) I might have been careful enough to abstain from calling my ex. It was all for the better though, he got his point across, I finally understood that I should not bombard him with calls and emails and knocks on the door, that he is entitled to his private life, that there is no court order obligating him to stay in touch with me. I feel relieved having finally understood that. I will respect his privacy now. I guess it is difficult to me because I am borderline. Which brings me back to your point - yes, I possibly lie because I am borderline. Btw on the sanity score the only thing that is REALLY high for me is borderline.