Secretum, thank you, I absolutely understand you, and it does take the edge off things. I will continue to reflect on this...

For the meds, the Invega is only for one month to kill the psychosis and the valium is/was for 5 days for alcohol detox. Normally it's just Lamictal and Effexor (and OK, Seroquel for sleep). Contrary to how it looks , my pdoc is very much in favour of the minimum possible meds that do the trick. I agree though at the moment it's quite a bit - but temporary.

Thanks!
BB