When my T has tears in her eyes it brings up a slightly mixed reaction (she's never cried in front of me, just can see her tearing up). Foremost, I'm so touched that she would tear up when I'm talking about my pain--shows that she genuinely cares and is with me. We've talked about her tears; she said that they mean that she deeply cares about me and loves me. But then there's a small part of me that feels badly that I've "made her cry." But, I know that this small part is my own difficult relationship with crying--seeing it as a weakness and something that makes one vulnerable in a bad way and the fear of seeing my parents cry. But Iv'e learned that crying is truly not a weakness. Nevertheless I still am struggling with crying in front of her... I tear up, but no real crying, despite the safe environment she creates. I agree with periodot, her tears are validating and not awkward.

I don't think that her tears have anything to do w/ not being able to handle hearing what I'm saying. Ts are humans, too, and tears/crying is a natural, healthy response to emotion. In fact, I occasionally am miffed just a little when I don't see her tear up when I'm hurting...

I wonder if having difficulties with seeing T tear up or crying is more about our own relationship w/ crying? Whether it was scary to see our parents cry or whether we suppress emotions and don't cry ourselves.