button30, I am so very sorry for all the pain and grief you have gone through. I have heard of complicated grief; a group of clinicians has been fighting to get it included in the new, 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Opponents of this say that including "complicated grief" as a diagnostic category will pathologize it and the people who are struggling with it, but the advocates say that, because therapists must include a diagnostic code for insurance companies in order to be reimbursed, it will help individuals get the treatment they need for this.

Sending you hugs and warm wishes, and hugs to the others who have posted on this thread who have struggled, too!