Ok so last week was really bad, as I pretty much went to town cutting three different days.

I have only been seeing my Pdoc for just over 5 months and I know that one time she FREAKED on me and started to yell, saying it is not okay to do or something. It was enough to stop me for 5 weeks, I was so scared of her reaction if I did.

There have been a few times since then that I have cut, I have gone 2 or 3 weeks at times not cutting.

So last week I did and the whole week I was stressing and thinking she is going to yell and get angry.

She knew about it before my appointment as I do lots of writing that is either dropped off or emailed to her throughout the week.

Well at my appointment all she said was I wish you wouldn't do it. Than came the questions of why I am doing it!

I did come to a realization today, two other coping skills are not available to me.

I tend to binge eat at McDonald's and my license was suspended 6 weeks ago for reckless driving. In December I declared bankruptcy when I went off work and on Short term disability which is now long term through my insurance at work. I owed $20 grand on a credit card, hence my spending problem.

Maybe that is why I am doing more cutting now that I think about it?

LoneWolfie