Quote:
Originally Posted by greysfan
I miss the ease in talking to others, making them laugh and not even having to try. I miss being carefree, not having to worry about things all the time. I miss being the funny one. I have just become so withdrawn that I'm now nothing in terms of...well, anything really. I'm resentful towards those who just watched my sink into depression, but maybe I should have just faked happiness instead of shutting everyone out. I want to connect with the world again, but I'm kind of clueless about how to start again. x
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how long greys?...have you been feeling this way?
might sound overfloating but missing is what drags us out of the depression...it sounds nuts I just read it back but ...damn it it's exactly what makes the depression so nasty because it's reminding you of the absence of the things that are precisely the opposite
it's like it's gotta melt you apart first...and faking it don't work too well thats kinda like apathy it don't last.
it's not your fault it's a mechanism in the heart and mind something has upset you way deeper and incomprehensible and it's reflex to resent the unsuffering.
can you hang on....it goes away....it's not fair for it to hang around
...
ok I had to come back to this one.."how to start again?"
where it all began before where it was fine before the sadness hit before it all went black before it seemed impossibly far away...
to embrace these moments these times is exactly what your self within is trying to do and it manifests as pain in the shape of missing ....
a small example....I like hot chocolate in bed when I wake up....it's cool sorta' for me
I have to start right there making that hot chocolate when I wake up otherwise I will remain in bed waiting and miserable it's hard...
I can go weeks and months trying to survive and neglecting the smallest things that piece together my personality even the littlest things....
go right back to the start....slowly gently move from one item to the next ignore the rest of the people it's about you now it's not wasting time it's hard it's worth it greys
