I hear that you are still wanting to be "fair" to this man who abandoned you, that you still love him, which probably do, and will for some time, but he has treated you horribly, abandoned you at your most vulnerable time (as I said before), and you are giving him too much leeway, in ways he has not given you. He walked out, and is completely absent from you now. Whatever his issues are...whether he is just immature and wanting to be a single male playing the field, or if he has some sort of mental disorder, or if he has a girlfriend (sounds like it!), you have to take care of yourself and your own needs. You have your child to think of as well.

When I finally got the courage to divorce my husband, I wanted to be nice, not make him mad. I compromised too much, letting HIM write the entire divorce agreement without the benefit of lawyers. In retrospect, I should have gotten a tough smart lawyer to work in my interests. You need this. Put aside any feelings you have for this boy, and take care of yourself!