Would he go to couples therapy with you? That's what I think could really help make this work for you 2. You obviously love him dearly, sounds like he wants to be with you too. I also think you might want to give Alanon a try. I resisted going for years, alcoholic dad, alcoholic and drug using fathers of my 3 kids. But I finally went for son who has bp and had a meth addiction, my therapist recommended it strongly for me. So I did go, and it's actually really helpful. You don't have to believe in God or anything. And your qualifier can be anyone, alcoholic, pot addict, meth addict, rage addict. But when someone else's behaviors start ruining our lives, and we get unhealthy and codependant, Alanon is a good tool, imho.

I also want to say that I know you love him so much, but if the relationship is not healthy for you, you need to keep yourself healthy and safe. It's been long time since I've been in love, but I do remember it. And how it can cloud judgement.

I hope some of this may help. Good luck rgb.