Hey Jan,

I'm so very sorry for the trauma you've been through. I wish I could somehow transfer the caring I feel for you so that you would feel it like as if I was right there.

Jan, can I ask..... maybe you don't even know the answer.... anyway..... do you think the "temper" could be coming from your mind trying to reason WHY such a thing happened to you and not knowing the answer? Not having an answer can be quite frustrating--- at least that's how I've been.

Could it be that in pondering why he hurt you-- a loving and caring person-- which doesn't go with human experience and compassion-- is one of the things helping to flare the temper? It doesn't make sense what he did to you!

........ perhaps.... it might help in thinking that it wasn't about you--- but about him. Suppose he never had anyone ever be nice to him-- maybe it made him feel vulnerable...... frightened-- he could be coming from a very hurtful past that he doesn't know how to deal with and overcome. It most likely is his shortcomings-- not yours dear Jan. You didn't do anything wrong.....it could be that he's not ready for someone to be nice to him... and maybe he never will be........ -- but that's not your fault.

I'm so sorry for all your pain both physical and emotional