Thanks everyone. I did go and visit my friends with my husband on Friday night. I surprised myself and didn't cry! Maybe I got all my tears out before hand. I didn't find myself trying to pretend I was fine just for the sake of keeping up appearances; it felt good to be with them. They make me feel loved, and I guess I really found being with them comforting. I think people like them are few and far between and I'm so extremely thankful to have them in my life. I'm glad I went and didn't sit at home crying.

The baby shower this afternoon went fine. Plenty of food and everyone doted on the sweet little baby while he slept. I can't say it was exactly easy to go, but I did it; and I know it was good for me. I don't feel nearly as self destructive as I felt the other day, so maybe getting out was as good for me as "they" always tell us it is. I am however very tired now, so I think it must be time for me to get some sleep. Sleep is a good thing. <3