Hi Zen,
It is possible that by knowing this now, you'll be able to make better choices, but what is important is that you have reached the realization of what you have been looking for, that is step #1, don't you think? And there is nothing wrong to look for the person or persons you want to "take care of you", but you need to ask yourself "in which way do I really want this? Do I really need this to be this way? Then the hardest part is trying to set yourself free of this "craving / need", and be your own person, perhaps no longer having to have people take care of you. I myself for many years always wanted to know that those around me "will take care of me, and always will be there for me", like you I have been hurt and it sucks
I wasn't terribly treated as a kid or anything like that, so I don't know where this came from, but I have been ab;e to get away from it over the past 3 years, seperating from this pattern is very hard, and it was almost like I had to "toughen up" and tell myself "I'm not going to let people know I am needy anymore !!" "I will not put that pressure on anyone anymore" The one thing I have not resolved is "why do I feel that need??"" Zen, if you can, please tell me why I do, cause it puzzles me often.
Hope you are feeling better
** hugs & smiles **
"darkeyes"