The last several weeks I spend most of my time on weekends wondering what my psychiatrist and act worker are spending their time doing on weekends.

I don't know if it is because I generally spend the entire weekend in the house, I struggle to leave the house on a good day.

This weekend has been really bad and the thought of what they are doing is making me nuts. I'm bored out of my mind and have no inkling to do a thing.

Yes I find I am attached/attracted to my Pdoc. My Pdoc does have a physical disability, I am not sure if it is from her hip but the first time I met her I thought she had a prostetic leg. Anyway she doesn't use any device to help her but you can tell it is difficult for her, sometimes she uses a wall for support as she walks.

So don't imagine her running around her yard with her dogs or anything and I do know she has a male partner. Which I will say pangs me with a bit of jealousy, I am gay with a wife of 12 years.

During the week I know where she is but for some reason weekends really have me wondering.

Guess I am pondering....