I can't remember if you read it or not, but please read the 'before you cut' thread I posted. I know it seems positive. When I started i was on here telling people "it's not like I was doing permanent damage; I'm so scared so I'll never go too deep; It stops panic attacks with little to no harm." The problem with these things are we're just like an alcoholic. Eventually you'll need more and more pain to achieve the same desired feelings. You think you'll never go too deep, til you do, and then it's so scary you swear you'll never do it again, but you do. You'll push people away, out of shame and necessity to hide your secret. Everything in your life will start to revolve around it from what you wear, to where you will go, and who you will see. You will begin to lie constantly (must avoid getting caught, what if they take your tools, or worse, try and lock you up). You'll hate yourself even more for it and the person SI has caused you to become. Although none of us can prove it, I think all of us who have been at it a while wished we had never started and think that we could have quit early on. It doesn't seem to matter though because no matter how many horror stories you hear from us, you're still telling yourself, 'that won't be me, it will never break up my relationship or land me in the hospital for stitches or an infection, no one will ever find me in a pool of blood on the floor because I accidently cut too deep and couldn't stop the bleeding before I passed out.'