I've been sad all day about tomorrow's termination session.

I just realized RIGHT NOW that I am not scared or anxious about it. Just sad that I am leaving T. Only sad. Not worried.

I can't even explain how amazing it is that I am not anxious. That's the reason I went to go see T. I had stopped leaving my house, quit driving, and wasn't really eating or going to work.

I'm not scared. I know I can handle it. I really DO carry T with me.

I even know that I won't be THIS sad forever. It's going to be rough, but I will work my way through it. I will miss him but I can make it without him.

I have changed so much. If you had told me last April that I'd be writing a post like this. I would have cried hysterically because would have seemed impossible.

I am a bit in shock right now. I'm mostly writing this down so I can figure out a way to explain it to T. He and I have done some amazing stuff together. Wow.