Man I'm struggling and I have been for four years now ever since I met this guy. I hold on too tightly. You see he has a drug addiction and I myself am dually diagnosed. When we met we were both sober but it didn't take long until he relapsed. I relapsed about a yr. later because I just couldnt let go. My question regarding bipolar disorder is this: does anyone else with this disorder find it extremely hard....harder than those without the disorder (b/c I know breakups are hard for everyone) to let go of a toxic relationship? I feel as if my bipolar in some ways won't let me or tricks me into staying in it. I keep going back although it is killing me. He is my drug and biggest relapse trigger. I am sober now and am getting stable on my meds again but if I talk to him forget it I throw everything away and I know I'm doing it at the time. I've done this with other guys but never like this. I'm hanging on til it kills me and it seems like I very well could like this. I must be brutally honest if I want help I guess but sometimes I let this relationship consume my life (like call like 30 times a day consume me). Its embarrassing I know but then Im thinking who else is going to put up with my craziness. He has a schizophrenic brother so he somewhat gets it. Plus we are both drug addicts....i don't know. All iknow is that I have to get away but I always go back. Something is making me obsessed with this and I was just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. Thanks so much, Berly