I find it patronizing at times. It also makes me want to fight it because I don't want to be needy and fall into the trap of believing it.

I also do not feel unworthy of kindness. My problem is more an issue of not trusting other people & being grossed out by the idea of being needy.

So, I get the "useless" part but not the adversarial. Do you feel like they're trying to lull you into trusting them? Or is it something else?