When I was in therapy twice a week, I had such a hard time holding onto the fact that T was THERE, and that he would continue to be there. I needed to see him, connect with him, make contact with him, or some part of me really felt like he would disappear, or like I would disappear for him. Like if I didn't keep myself on his radar, he'd completely forget about me.

For some reason, when I finished therapy, that fear disappeared. I *knew* that our relationship was important enough that I would stay with T in small ways...little things would remind him of me, or I would pass through his mind. It was like I had to leave therapy, and leave T, to really believe that what we had was "real".

Last week, my son unexpectedly had to have surgery. It was stressful and scary, and now he has a very large wound that will take a couple of months to heal, and I am the person who has to care for the wound. It's hard and a little scary, and my life has been a whirlwind since this process started in the middle of the week last week.

I called T when I found out about the surgery, and he has been there for me since it started, in phone calls and e-mails. He listened to my fears before the surgery, and he's been there to remind me to take care of myself while I'm in this frenzy of taking care of everybody else. He knows me so well, and he's right - it is easy to lose myself in all of this, and if I do that, I won't be as helpful to the people around me. I just needed that little reminder to set me back on the right path.

Sometimes I used to wish T and I could be friends after therapy, and I'm seeing now what a gift it is that even though I'm not in therapy anymore, he is still, and will always be, my "T".