(((((((((((( Mandy ))))))))))))

You are such a dear heart. I hope you know how special you are.

The temper comes from several things. One is he hit me right in the area that governs emotions. It takes a while for your brain to heal. Another is my utter frustration in not being able to have stopped him. Yet another is my frustration over how much the this has effected my every day life. I've had to accept that I have to wear this brace. I've had to accept that I can't hear well out of my right ear and never will. I'm mad because I don't trust people any more and watch my back at all times. I'm mad because my brain doesn't work right anymore. All I had left was my intelligence, and I can't count on that anymore.

I'm mad because I was the best friend a human being can possibly be and he destroyed all that. He can't be a friend to anyone. He's a taker, and that's it. I'm mad because he made me feel totally and utterly worthless, less than a dirty scrap of paper thrown away to float back and forth on filthy water forever, never being anything to anyone.

Thank you, Mandy, for prompting me to write this.

Love and hugs,

Jan