Hi ChattyGirl --

Oh, goodness, she sounds so much like my mother, who I laid to rest this month at age 87.

How did I manage it? I remembered all the times that mom was there for me when I needed her to be. My father died when I was quite young, and mother worked very hard to make sure my brother and I never wanted for anything.

When we were teenagers, she forgave an awful lot. She tried hard during those years to update herself and "get with the times."

At the end, she had dementia and was very repetitive. I tried not be impatient. We talked every Sunday. I would think to myself, "Just listen. You will not have a mother to talk with much longer." And I didn't.

I also try to remember that her generation had a lot of doors closed to them simply because they were women. Mother was brilliant and creative, and society did not do much to nurture that.

So to sum up: Yes, it is hard to deal with a manipulative and self-centered, even narcissistic mother. I did my best to remember the good, be grateful for her genuine love and support, to take into account everything she had to cope with in her own life, and to remember how seriously flawed I am.

And now I am working to forgive myself for the ways in which I was impatient with her and unkind.