I have not followed your history, Big Mama, so you must take what I write as coming from a place of ignorance.

My read was exactly the same as Hankster's.

Let me add this: I used to experience a sense of disconnect or being someone outside my own body when I was taking birth control pills. So you might look into whether any medication you are taking can have that effect.

You also might participate in activities and workshops that are about being in your body. Tai chi, yoga, and meditation have helped me to inhabit my body and emotions.

Hugs and hugs for you.