AGain I seem to be unclear in what I thought was good. I do not feel good when my pain is acknowledged by an empathic response. I feel baffled and hostile.
It is different from the book than empathy in humans. I don't think the book was empathy - it just helped explain to me why the therapist and I do not make sense to each other. What I found valuable in the books is the explanation of what the therapist is trying to accomplish. What is still missing for me is how what they say leads to that conclusion. Not to mention the hurdle of do I WANT the same thing the therapist does - which often I do not.