Please talk to a professional about these feelings and hallucinations. I cannot tell what exactly this is, but it sounds like schizophrenia. I don't want to scare you by using that word, but I am just going off of my experiences working with people who have schizophrenia.

Never be afraid to call your local crisis number if needed. Please utilize your resources in your community (pdoc, T, crisis, hospital, etc.). That is why they are there--to help you.

Please feel better.