Hi Everyone,
Wow, 90 responses! I love it when we get good discussions going on on here.
I haven't read all the replies but will put my oppinion in anyway.
Taking stopdog's example if I say a situation happened and the therapist says,"that must have hurt," and I'm sure by their tone and just the feeling I have from them that they mean it, then it's useful. I have spent most of my life dealing with family who doesn't know the first thing about how to respond in a caring sensitive way to the things that upset me. So when therapists do this I really like it, because I do feel connected to them and heard.
Now there is this situation where (in my therapist search) every person I seem to come in contact with tells me how resourceful I am. Over and over and over again! and I'm so angry about this. I want to say,"Yeah it's a good thing too, or else I wouldn't be this far along," or "Yeah, good thing I'm resourceful since those that should be helping me/been honest about certain issues aren't really doing their job. I dealt with this crap in MA and I can do it here." Now I'm sure there response to me in those moments was thought up by something from a textbook. And maybe I'm a rare case in that situation! (smile) So I guess everyone's different.