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Originally Posted by hankster
Then my answer to your question is yes. But when I went into a further explanation, I didn't feel empathy from you, I felt the dismissive avoidance, FWIW.
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I did not realize you wanted empathy from me-I sort of thought you were making fun of me. Expressing empathy is not the first place I go to - not in least because of how awful it feels to have it aimed at me - I don't want to do that to someone else. There are still some hitches in my knowing what others want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kacey2
Stopdog,
Does empathy feel too superficial to you? How do you do with empathy towards other people's situation? What about validation, would that feel differently or be useful? Do the books you read differentiate between the two and use examples of the context for each?
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I do for them what I find annoying when they do it to me if I know I am supposed to convey some emotional response to them. It seems to work. Validation is another tool they use. I find it just as frustrating or enraging usually.
Quote:
Originally Posted by adel34
Hi Everyone,
Taking stopdog's example if I say a situation happened and the therapist says,"that must have hurt," and I'm sure by their tone and just the feeling I have from them that they mean it, then it's useful. I have spent most of my life dealing with family who doesn't know the first thing about how to respond in a caring sensitive way to the things that upset me. So when therapists do this I really like it, because I do feel connected to them and heard.
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The response, for me, is not contingent on my perception of their sincerity. Sincere but misguided attempts enrage, frustrate and baffle me just as much.