Hey Berly, I'm no good at breakups - every ex was an alcoholic or additionally a drug addict, and I would drag them on for years. I would agree I tend to be obsessed with certain lovers. But I do think I've improved with the men I choose. I've got one now that is only an alcoholic at night (?) go figure. But he's the most stable man I've ever dated and that's something I need for my health. I do go to Alanon and that is really helpful. You've got a double wammy tough situation Glad you're looking to understand it, understand yourself. You're on the right path I think.