Oh Gawd you poor thing!! I just wanted to write because I've experienced really bad ones, after the births of my children. I would sob with my butt in the air trying to send the blood flow away from them. After my 10 lb son, there were about 4 of them totalling the size of my fist, it was hell. My midwife advised olive oil, my mom advised trying to sort of stuff them back inside, those 2 things did help somewhat. But holy hell I really feel for you I know how horrible it is! Mine still flare up sometimes. But my sister has them bad and has to carry a sitz bath with her everywhere she goes to soak em, she needs to get the surgery done for them eventually.