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Jul 24, 2012, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I think you know by now that I identify with your situation but I can't help. I thought I would cry last week when we decided I should stop emailing my T, and when I talked about being more attached to her, not less, but the tears wouldn't come. They came later, as usual. T tells me it's okay to cry with her but I can't. Maybe some day we will both cry and then we'll have a party to celebrate.

As for now, I don't know if there's anything we can do about it. If anyone has any new ideas, I'd like to know too.

Thanks, rainbow. Yes, we will have a big party!
The thing is for me, the tears don't come later - they never come, so I feel "emotionally constipated." The tears over watching The Closer last night just don't count...

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigergirl

maybe some of it is connected with how much pressure you are putting on yourself?

... crying ... is a kind of release, but when you keep thinking about how you aren't crying; how it would help and so on, it seems like it would be very hard to get that needed release ...
if the tears aren't there could you maybe talk about the feelings of sadness and explore those and find another way of achieving some kind of release

I think that the pressure could be part of it, though my T has been great about saying, it'll come when it comes and I've been pretty good about it, too. Yesterday was really the first day that I got frustrated about it, realizing that I'd cried twice over meaningless things after this going on for years...

Quote:

Originally Posted by stormyangels

I've known my T for 4 years, worked with her for almost 3 combined. I never cried until recently. There were so many sessions where I thought "I'm so going to cry"... But for me, crying does not feel ok. For me it makes me feel weak. Not weak in the sense other people use the word, but weak in terms of : my defenses come down, I feel helpless, I feel vulnerable. I finally cried a few weeks ago. I'm still in a major bout of depression and now I continue to cry in session. It happens when the time is right... I believe that. Now I do wish I could make it stop

Thanks for sharing this stormy! I'm sorry to know about your major bout of depression

I'm in a bout right now, hoping it doesn't become a major bout...

Quote:

Originally Posted by KazzaX

How about watching a movie before you go to T that is one of those "makes you cry from start to finish" type of movies? Then when you go you are already in a crying mood. I dunno, just a whacky idea that came up just now, lol

Is crying important though? I have cried in many therapy sessions and it has no healing qualities. You just end up sitting there looking like a fool in front of the T, so it makes coming back next week a bit harder. If it had some kinda therepeutic value I could understand but it does not seem to.

Thanks for the suggestion

Your take on crying not being therapeutic is interesting. I hadn't considered that. As far as looking like a fool in front of T, I already do that without crying...

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiki86

i have rarely cried in therapy. i've let couple of tears slip out a few times but i suck it in, so to speak. the only time i properly let go and bawled was when i found out that my T would be leaving for a new rotation elsewhere. the team thought i knew but i didn't and it was such a shock that i didn't have the control to hold back. i'd like to be that close to my feelings more often but i don't know how to do that.

Yes, this is exactly the problem - I'm dissociated from my feelings. This is why it bothers me. How can I tear up at a fiction character's worrying about her father who is in remission, when I can't even cry about my own mom's cancer?

Quote:

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

We (I) make crying into this big production, when it shouldn't be. If it happens it happens, but unless you are a manipulative drama queen (which I can tell you aren't), chances are you won't be able to force yourself into crying. Let it come when it comes. Why does it have to be in front of t?

You're right, there is no forcing... Honestly, it rarely comes as related to me - just in reaction to silly TV shows or something - so it's not even really a question of in front of T. I go so deep with her talking about my emotions, fears, etc., yet I am often dissociated from these.