(((((((((((((((Jan)))))))))))))))))) It is so sad all the repercussions this incident has had upon you. It has effected all areas of your life. I can understand what you are feeling without even taking into consideration the damage he has done to parts of your body. I can understand where your distrust has come from and that is hard to overcome when it was someone so close. I am sure that it doesn't seem so but you have made such progress since then. Don't lose sight of where you were and where you are going. Please take care of you.