I've had two therapists.

My first therapist let me read the notes he kept on our sessions. The first set I got, I thought it was very helpful as I could see we were both on the same page.

In the second set, it was very very hurtful because I found out that he kept information from me and essentially lied about something. He also expressed his inability to help me or know HOW to help me. He ended up leaving his practice and I changed therapists. The second set of notes still haunts me.

If anyone ever is able to read their own session notes kept by your therapist, please heed my few suggestions....

a. Talk about what you've read and whether or not the facts are right and if you feel you're on the same page.

b. Make sure that there is time to discuss what is in the notes before therapy is over.

My therapist wrote some pretty shocking things (to me) in the notes that I never was able to question or work out with him because I got the second set of notes on my last day of therapy. I only had 4 weeks notice of my therapist leaving and then with this on top....well I'm sure you can imagine what that was like.

c. If you're worried how you're going to respond to reading the notes, try reading some in session before you go home.

d. Be prepared to be embarrassed and ashamed in reading the notes. Even if you know some particular things are the truth, it can be hard reading that truth.

I think there are benefits to reading our session notes, but there are also serious repercussions. My ability to trust my new therapist has been a long road because of my previous experience. I wanted to read my new therapist's notes to make sure he wasn't leaving things out with me and I didn't trust him to communicate with my Pdoc, so I would constantly be giving consent and taking it away.

My new T has not let me read his notes, as he fears it just makes the trust issue worse and says by the time that it would be okay to share them, it probably wouldn't be an issue for me anymore. (Nice way to get out of it, T...)

Anyway, I hope my experiences can help someone else.

......Oh, and my notes were far from boring.