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Yes, this is exactly the problem - I'm dissociated from my feelings. This is why it bothers me. How can I tear up at a fiction character's worrying about her father who is in remission, when I can't even cry about my own mom's cancer?
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because crying for someone who isn't real is safe, it's controlled. you might be scared that if you tapped into those emotions for your mum or other real things that you won't be able to stop. that it'll be too much.